Archive for November, 2009

day after eid day thoughts

November 29, 2009

as i sat and watched the butcher cut the goat’s that were slaughtered to bite size pieces for distribution – yesterday on the day of the eid of sacrifice – my thoughts went to the so many families of survivors who sit out this day not celebrating, as this would be their first eid (like mine) without the loved ones lost to an act of terror … making this occasion of joy and happiness one of sadness and sorrow, of remembering the loved ones lost – and wondering why?

and my heart feels heavy – i smile, and try to be happy with the kids, and the family, but deep inside there is a nagging emptiness, a feeling sad and forlorn, i realize that this emptiness is of the space where gul rukh resides, but cannot be seen, or heard, or talked to, or be with us, and the one thought that remains is WHY?

one can but bow to allah’s will, the final resort of minds and hearts lost.

eid mubarak

November 24, 2009

assalam o alaikum – helloo, hi,

eid mubarak

this is the eid of the slaughtering an animal, usually a goat (1 share), or a cow (7 shares), in some mid east countries camels are slaughtered too.

here’s praying for your well being, happiness and acceptance of your prayers by allah .. aamen.

eid mubarak

2009 tally of bomb blasts in pakistan

November 21, 2009

over 1400 dead, and 900 injured, an unending tally of survivors


happy birthday to me !

November 16, 2009

it’s close to midnight on nov 16, and as the clock ticks over the hour, it will be the 17th.

happy birthday to me.

i will be looking at the hands tick across the numeral 12, because she will not put her hands over my eyes for the last two minutes and remove then just as the hands tick past the 12.

she gave me two early birthday gifts.

* a usb driven internet connection, for she wanted me to be on line even in the car, and when i was somewhere where i did not have my desk top, i could use it with my laptop.

* the book jinnah, by jaswant singh – which she wanted to get for me through the wfp office in delhi, before it reached pakistan, but i stopped her, and she then got one of the first few copies that landed in islamabad, and inscribed it, “for my bookworm hubby tahir wadood malik, gul rukh tahir, 02-09-09.” this was the only time she wrote my full name on anything.

did she know … breaks my heart to think of it every time.

how could i not know, i break my head against allah’s will with this question every day so many times.

life goes on – so they say, even as it apparently stands still, life goes on!

so be it!

four occassions / stages of wanting support

November 14, 2009

i am a survivor of a terrorist act

and i know from personal experience that a survivor of terrorism (one who has either survived the act, or is a survivor of someone who lost their life in the act) has four occasions to be devastated, depressed, and feeling alone – 1) immediately after the act; 2) when the people who came together to express their feelings leave and the survivor is left alone; 3) when the survivor finds themselves without any support like counseling, or a forum to talk in/to; and 4) a lifelong feeling of loss, and being alone and having to repeat about their loss, and not getting any “support.”

at the GSN, of which i am a part, and supporter, we want to address the 3 and 4 stage, helping survivors talk about their loss, make them feel they are not alone.

come join us, because silence is no longer an option!

i am a survivor of terrorism & went to amman jordan to meet survivors like me.

November 12, 2009

just back after a four day learning, invigoration, eventful, loving, and caring trip to amman, jordan, organized by global survivors network.

got to meet 9 other survivors of terror, and share our thoughts, feelings and desires for the future with each other.

the highlight of the activity was the commemoration of the jordan attacks of 2005.

“Disease, natural disasters, fate do not discriminate. But terrorism does. It discriminates against the innocent. We, in Jordan, know this firsthand,” Her Majesty Queen Rania said in a statement marking the occasion.

it was an event that moved the people to tears, made them hold hands, and just stand silent and look, for speaking would have made them betray their emotions, the tree planting was attended by the ambassadors of the countries of nine of the survivors, and your guess is as good as mine, the only ambassador conspicuous by his absence was his excellency the ambassador of the islamic republic of pakistan (even after confirming that he would be there), so we, dr habiba, and i just planted the tree by ourselves!

i’ll write up my impressions of the trip and the events, but till then here is the coverage.

i would like to thank wolfgang harbinger, the country director of the world food program in pakistan, for thinking of me and getting me in touch with carie lemack and the global survivors network,

PLEASE find the time to visit the GSN site, to show your support to the survivors of terror, because here in pakistan, with every passing day we add to the number of of survivors of terror.

Welcome to Tahir’s Blog

November 6, 2009

assalam o alaikum

welcome to my blog, and here goes

more to come – please comment and visit